Mishaum Wives Absolutely Livid at Kate Pingeon Over Sailing Trip

In Mishaum men like to sail and most women don’t; and there is a long established protocol that allows these two differing stances to peacefully coexist.


But this summer something happened that narrowed the gap between the civility of sailing and the savagery of marriage to a treacherously close degree.  Traditionally wives have banded together and refused, in unison, to go sailing with their husbands.  Over the course of many years, this stance has become accepted as the norm and things have been generally peaceful.  But this summer, in an unparalleled move, Kate Pingeon went on a weeklong cruise up in Maine with her family.  All the wives on the Point knew that this was going to happen and expressed sympathy for the hardship Kate would endure at sea but that is not how things turned out--not even close.


Returning to Mishaum, Kate declared that the sailing trip was one of the best vacations she has ever taken, and in an open move against the Society for Non Sailing Wives, Kate resigned and continued to preach the virtues of sailing as a family.


Isolated events of this nature have occurred in the past, but never by a wife so respected as Kate Pingeon.  It took no time for sailing husbands across the point to take note and start pushing their own spouses to follow Kate’s example.


Soon the equilibrium of many marriages became unglued and tension and dispute engulfed many Mishaum couples.  A few husbands saw the situation as a way to gain ground and demanded that their wives sail with them, and they backed up pleas with threats of a jewelry embargo for non-compliance.  The wives struck back and declared August an intimacy-free month.  The husbands then ridiculed the wives with jaded guffaws.  And on and on it went.


“ I just can believe she has the gall to keep talking about it”, hissed Alice Flint.   Lisa Douglas and Helen Pennoyer both expressed deep concerns about the pressure on them to sail when all is fine on land and has been for so many summers.  “We can’t stand sailing and why should we have to” snarled the two.


But perhaps it is the children of Mishaum who are feeling the tension the most.  Many of them want to sail as a family and feel betrayed by their mothers.  Tensions are forecasted through Labor Day with hopes for successful peace talks over the winter.